Black Eyed Peas Halftime Show Super Blows

Why is it that the country that invented rock and roll can't have a good halftime show during the Super Bowl, the most watched American program every year?  The last time I remember enjoying one was when Michael Jackson performed 18 years ago, and even he lip-synched.  Here's the video of the 1993 performance to serve as a palette cleanser for this year's halftime atrocity: 

It is of my personal opinion that the Black Eyed Peas are the worst ilk to ever be associated with music.  There is nothing original about what they do.  They have the absolute WORST lyrics and stand for nothing.  There is no message to what they do.  Some may argue this point and say that BEP stand for love;  to that I rebut and say, what pop act doesn't say that?  Half the time they don't even have original hooks to their songs; they sampled Dick Dale and the Dirty Dancing theme during the halftime show.  They auto-tuned, hid what sounded like a live band at times, and mostly just stood, the four of them in a row, on the stage.  What happened to integrity and entertainment?

Black Eyed Peas worship money and fame.  They sell out their own ideals so they can compete in the politically correct music industry of this age.  Does anybody still remember that "Let's Get It Started" was originally "Let's Get Retarded"?  That is original and pushes buttons, the exact thing that music is supposed to do.  Instead they played it safe so they won't offend the dwellers of the red states who don't know the definition of context, and raped the benefits.  And yes, I meant raped, not reaped. 

And what's with Slash being there?  Not only does he have nothing to do with the Black Eyed Peas, but he wasn't even supporting one of their songs.  Slash was playing that same old, tired, 25-year-old "Sweet Child of Mine" riff for Fergie to butcher all over again.  I hate to say it, but I would have rather seen Axl Rose's self-martyring ass singing, and I HATE GUNS AND ROSES!!  Once again, money and fame overthrew integrity.

Why does the NFL try so hard not to offend anyone?  That attitude doesn't represent what goes on in the game whatsoever.  During any given game, a mic will be in the wrong place at the wrong time and we'll here the players, coaches, anyone on the sidelines, make crude or vulgar remarks.  Linemen, defense or offense, have the mindset to murder the opposing players to win.  Do the Black Eyed Peas seem to mesh with that kind of a culture?  HELL NO!!

This dance-y, tapioca, vanilla obscenity that was the BEP halftime show was marketed as the cure for the geriatric performances that have been the norm of the last few years.  We had The Who, Springsteen, and Rolling Stones all perform; these are iconic artists.  Sure, maybe they are past their prime, but I think they delivered much more solid shows. 

And another point: does this mean we're supposed to regard BEP as such iconic stars now?  Am I out of the loop here?  Are people really going to be playing a Black Eyed Peas song in 30 years and think, "Wow, they were so great!  This group changed my life!"?  I would venture to guess no.  The truth is that there will always be another BEP.  They will not go down being on the winning side of musical history.  A mad scientist music producer is in a studio right now with a younger, hipper, better version of BEP as I type this, shouting "It's alive!!"  This halftime show will be the peak of the Black Eyed Peas career.

So where do I get off as being so high and mighty?  I'm obsessed with music.  It is in my blood.  Other people can rattle off sports statistics and curate museums; I can tell you what year, what producer, what line-up changes occurred, all of this trivial knowledge about hundreds off bands.  Maybe it's useless to know, but it's all in how you use it.  And what I gather from my generation's pop group habits, is that very few survive.  How are the solo careers of anyone from Backstreet Boys, New Kids On The Block, or Spice Girls doing?  The only success story from this era is Justin Timberlake, and he hasn't made a new record in 5 years, focusing more on an impressive acting career.

Pop groups only exist for short amounts of time.  They survive because there are millions that don't know there is real music out there.  Once the next 4 chord generator makes their presence known, it is a nail in the coffin to the previous incarnation.  So count your money, Will.i.am, Fergie, and those two other guys; you're retirement, probably unwanted, will be coming soon.  Thank the universe for that!

Say It Ain't So!!: The White Stripes Have Broken Up

You read correctly.  The seminal rock duo from Detroit, The White Stripes, have officially broken up.  Jack and Meg White released a statement on their website here.  Unfortunately, it is true.

It is of my opinion that Jack White is the most prolific musician of this generation.  Anything that this man has touched has turned to ROCK!!  Whether it be fronting The White Stripes on vocals and guitar, taking a step back as a supporting member of The Raconteurs,  drumming duties in The Dead Weather, or producing the likes of classic artists such as Loretta Lynn and Wanda Jackson.  Mr. White has an old-school approach to creating music;  always analog, if possible, rejecting the digital takeover of recording that has encapsulated almost the entire music industry.  He founded Third Man Records based out of Nashville, TN in that regard, on the basis that less is more (and in Jack White's case, he is an artist of the highest caliber in that department).  Jack has the utmost appreciation of music as a historical contribution to humanity, and does everything he can to preserve, respect, and add to it's legacy. 

Here's an excerpt of an interview with The White Stripes on The Charlie Rose Show, my personal favorite interview I've seen of Jack and Meg.  Around 1:56 in the video Jack gets down to what they are trying to accomplish with their style:

Here is another excerpt from the same interview pertaining to why The White Stripes were created.  At about :30 into the video is what I believe every great musician tries to do:

From my experience as a performer, I know exactly what Jack White is talking about.  When a musician is in love with music that strikes a chord in them, the goal is to try and get others whom are unaware of said music, to pay attention.  Jack talks about "tricking" people into listening to the blues by putting his own spin on it with The White Stripes, hoping that the audience will dig for the hidden treasures of a time that has passed by exploring the influential artists in White's life by proxy, thus, preserving these historic performers and their legacy.

In my personal musical endeavors, I always admit that I'm trying to "rip off" the bands and musicians that have had similar impacts in my life.  I believe that you can't know where you're going unless you know where you've been.  Most musicians I know strive to be as good as the artists that inspired them to pick up their instruments in the first place.  If I can create a drum beat that alludes to Josh Freese, Jon Theodore, Elvin Jones, or Brooks Wackerman, and I'm approached by someone after a show that notices what I'm trying to do, it makes me smile; I'm fooling the audience into appreciating other artists by imitating them.

Though I'm sad that there will probably be no more new White Stripes records, I can't stay glum for long.  As you read this post, Jack White is most likely in his laboratory creating 10 more projects that will all blow the minds of the lucky who will be exposed to them.  And I can't be too surprised that this break-up has happened considering The White Stripes have been on hiatus for over 3 years now, but I don't want to take away from the significance of this event with my hipster proclivity to not being surprised. 

The White Stripes is where it all started for Jack White.  He'll be making music until his hands fall off, and even then I'm sure he'd find a way to make some killer tunes.  Bon Voyage, White Stripes;  you'll be dearly missed!!